Épisode 21 ans et le monde à conquérir S06E07 - Gilmore Girls Saison 6

LORELAI'S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR

CONTINUED FROM "WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE"

RICHARD: We need to talk about Rory.

LORELAI [Walks out onto the porch]: What about Rory?

RICHARD: I don't like what I see in that girl.

LORELAI: My eyes?

RICHARD: She's lost focus. She's drifting. Aimless. You know she's joined the DAR?

LORELAI: Saw the picture in the paper.

RICHARD: She's running around planning tea parties like she's the mad hatter. All she talks about is seating charts and canapés and fundraisers, and that boy.

LORELAI: You mean Logan.

RICHARD: She's heading in the wrong direction and I don't like it. Now, I've thought long and hard about this and I have come to a decision. We need a plan.

LORELAI [trying to keep her cool]: But - we - I had a plan! You changed the plan! Plan's gone, baby!

RICHARD: I don't appreciate your tone.

LORELAI: Apparently the proper tone went out with the plan.

RICHARD: Do you understand what I'm saying? Rory's not headed back to school.

LORELAI: Not yet, anyhow!

RICHARD: Not yet? Not now, not ever! Listen to me for just a moment. We can fix this. First of all, I can change the terms of Rory's trust fund. Currently, she's set to receive it when she turns twenty-five. But I say we tell her it's contingent on her returning to Yale.

LORELAI: Dad.

RICHARD: Or we can use the opposite approach if you think it's better. Maybe we offer her a car. Or the down payment on a townhouse. Or I'll buy her the townhouse! Don't you see, if there's something in it for her, maybe we can get her to change her mind.

LORELAI: Thank you for the dollhouse, Dad. It's greatly appreciated.

RICHARD: I don't believe this. Aren't you listening to me?

LORELAI: Uh, no.

RICHARD: Lorelai, Rory is turning twenty-one years old in ten days! Do you realize that?

LORELAI: Yes, Dad, I realize it!

RICHARD: She's twenty-one! That's not a child! Twenty-one-year-olds need to be working toward something.

LORELAI: Rory will figure it out.

RICHARD: Oh, please. She's twenty-one. I couldn't tie my shoe at twenty-one.

LORELAI: Well, Rory's advanced. She had the shoe thing down at three.

RICHARD: I'm getting a little tired of -

LORELAI: No, I'm getting a little tired of this conversation! I'm not interested in your plan! I'm not going to bribe my daughter with cars and money. Mainly because it wouldn't work, and if you'd ever met Rory you would know it wouldn't work. Rory can't be bought! And I'm not going to try and buy her! I want Rory to want to go back to school! She used to love to learn and read and study! And that was freakish, but it was her! And she's got to get herself back there.

RICHARD: But -

LORELAI: No, when Rory wants help she will ask for it. And the minute she does I will fly in faster than the Gulfstream I'm sure you're going to offer to buy her next, but until then, I'm sorry, you're on your own!

RICHARD: Impossible girl!

LORELAI: My native American name, I believe.

[Richard stares at her for a moment and then marches down the steps.]

OPENING CREDITS

LORELAI'S FRONT PORCH

[Luke is attempting to move the dollhouse.]

LORELAI: Unbelievable, he is unbelievable!

LUKE: Sure is. How did he lift this thing?

LORELAI: Pretending it's an accident that Rory's still floundering. Nothing's an accident. He caused this. He made this happen.

LUKE: It must weigh a thousand pounds!

LORELAI: That was a real low blow bringing up Rory's birthday like that. [Mimicking] 'She's turning twenty-one, Lorelai. Did you know that?' Of course I know that! I was there when she was turning nothing! I know she's turning twenty-one.

LUKE: Does this thing have, like, a real foundation or something?

LORELAI: It's just like my parents, you know, to double-cross me and then get mad when I won't help them undo the double-cross.

LUKE: Did he have guys with him?

LORELAI: What?

LUKE: Guys, to help him lift this thing?

LORELAI: No, no guys.

LUKE: No guys, your dad is Hercules.

LORELAI: We had a plan.

LUKE: What?

LORELAI [walks over and leans on the railing, sighing]: We were going to go to Atlantic City. We were going to sit at a blackjack table at eleven fifty-nine. We were going to order martinis and we were going to be playing twenty-one when she turned twenty-one. And then hopefully we'd win and we take our winnings and we'd buy twenty-one things. And then [she glances at Luke] there was a thing about twenty-one guys that wouldn't really be appropriate anymore since the engagement, but - [Luke begins stroking her hair] - it was a good plan. She probably doesn't even remember the plan.

LUKE: She remembers the plan.

LORELAI: But it wasn't like we talked about it every day, it was just something we thought of.

LUKE: She remembers the plan.

LORELAI: I'm hungry. I'm ordering pizza. [She looks down at the dollhouse.] The top comes off.

[She walks into the house.]

LUKE: Of course it does.

LORELAI'S HOUSE - RORY'S ROOM

[A pink fuzzy clock reads "4:03". Rory is asleep in the bed. Madeleine Albright comes in and kisses Rory's head.]

M.A.: Happy birthday, little girl.

RORY [waking up]: Hey.

[Ms. Albright climbs into Rory's bed. Rory hugs her arm.]

M.A.: I can't believe how fast you're growing up.

RORY: Really? Feels slow.

M.A.: Trust me, it's fast. So what do you think of your life so far?

RORY: I think it's pretty good.

M.A.: Any complaints?

RORY: I'd like that whole humidity thing to go away.

M.A.: I'll work on that.

RORY: So, do I look older?

M.A. [looks at her]: Oh, yeah. Walk into Denny's before five and you've got yourself a discount.

RORY: Good deal.

M.A.: So you know what I think?

RORY: What?

M.A.: I think you're a great, cool kid and the best friend a girl could have.

RORY: Back at you.

M.A.: And it's so hard to believe that at exactly this time many moons ago, I was lying in exactly this same position.

RORY [rolls her eyes playfully]: Oh, boy. Here we go.

M.A.: Only I had a fat stomach and huge ankles and I was swearing like a sailor.

RORY: On leave.

M.A.: On leave, right! And there I was -

RORY: - in labor.

M.A.: And while there's some who call it the most meaningful experience of their life -

RORY: - you compare it to something more akin to doing the splits on a crate of dynamite.

M.A.: Right.

RORY: I wonder if the Waltons ever did this.

[Rory suddenly wakes up in her own bed in the pool house.]

LOGAN: What?

RORY: I just had a dream that Madeline Albright was my mother.

LOGAN: Huh. [He falls back asleep. Rory looks around for a moment before settling back down.]

STARS HOLLOW

[Lorelai walks across the street. She sees Babette and Morey coming out of Doose's market. Both of their arms are full of grocery bags.]

LORELAI: Hey, there!

BABETTE: Oh, hi, Sugar! Couldn't see you over the bags.

LORELAI: Wow, you've got a lot of stuff there, are you hunkering down for winter?

BABETTE: Nah, we're getting the supplies for our gallows!

LORELAI: Oh, yeah! Are you going to hang Morey again?

MOREY: Do it every year!

LORELAI: Well, you're always the hit of the neighborhood.

BABETTE: So what about you, honey, what are you gonna do?

LORELAI: Oh, you know, the same thing I always do.

BABETTE: Oh. Gonna hang caramel apples from the tree again?

LORELAI: Kids love 'em.

BABETTE: Yeah. They're not that scary.

LORELAI: Well, to a diabetic they're downright terrifying.

BABETTE: Huh? Okay. Caramel apples.

LORELAI: And I will be handing out candy, which, as you know, is the entire point of Halloween.

BABETTE: Sure, sure, honey. Well, we've got a lot to do. Got to go.

MOREY: No rest for the doomed.

BABETTE: See you later!

[As they walk away, Lorelai calls after them.]

LORELAI: You know, I bought a haunted house CD to play in the background!

[Babette smiles politely back at her and keeps walking. Lorelai heads into the market.]

RORY'S POOL HOUSE

[Rory and Logan are making out on the couch, although Rory is holding her new purse.]

RORY: What time is our reservation?

LOGAN: Now.

RORY: Oh. Boy, it's amazing what happens when you can't find your keys.

LOGAN: I think we should order in tonight. [He kisses her again.]

RORY: And the purse is down.

[They hear a knock at the door.]

RORY [surprised]: Who is it?

EMILY [from outside]: Emily Gilmore!

[Rory and Logan get up off the couch. Rory opens the door.]

EMILY: I'm so sorry to bother you, Rory - hello, Logan!

LOGAN: Hello, Emily.

EMILY: Rory, could you check your closet? The maid hung up your dry cleaning today, and I am missing a blouse and I want to know whether or not to add this to the list of reasons I'm firing her.

RORY: Of course, I'll be right back. [She heads into the bedroom.]

EMILY: Thank you, Rory. I'm so exhausted with incompetent people, I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like every person I hire immediately gets hit in the head with a mallet on the way out of the employment office! [She hears Rory's closet door open and turns instantly to Logan.] Logan, do you have anything special planned for Rory's birthday next week?

LOGAN [surprised]: Uh, no. No plans.

EMILY: Oh, good. Because I would love to throw her a party here. A twenty-first birthday is so special. But I didn't want to order twelve pounds of crab legs if you had plans to whisk her off to Santorini.

LOGAN: No whisking plans in the works.

RORY [emerging from the bedroom]: Sorry, Grandma, your blouse isn't in there.

EMILY: Say, Rory, how would you like a birthday party next week?

RORY [uncomfortably looks at Logan]: Oh, well -

EMILY: It doesn't have to be a big formal affair, just something fun, with your friends and a few of the DAR ladies. Whoever you want.

RORY: Sure, Grandma, a party sounds fine.

EMILY [delighted]: I'll go right in and call the caterers! Twenty-one years old! Time flies, doesn't it? [Logan nods.] All right, you two, back to what you were doing.

[She hurries out.]

RORY: Hey, Grandma says. [She grabs Logan's hand and they go back to the couch.]

LOGAN: So, twenty-first birthday, big event.

RORY: I guess.

LOGAN: Would have been nice if I had known about it.

RORY: Oh, I didn't tell you?

LOGAN: No.

RORY: Oh. I'm just - not into birthdays.

LOGAN: You're not into birthdays? You, who wore green head-to-toe on St. Patrick's Day and bunny ears on Easter.

RORY: I have stock in Hallmark.

LOGAN: What's up, Ace?

RORY: We should probably call the restaurant if we still want to try and eat there.

LOGAN: Ace!

RORY: I'm just not excited about this particular birthday.

LOGAN: Why not?

RORY [shrugs]: Because, I'm turning twenty-one.

LOGAN: Yes?

RORY: My mom and I had been planning for my twenty-first birthday since - well, my first memory is kindergarten, but I have a feeling she was talking about it before then. We had this whole big thing planned.

LOGAN: Yeah?

RORY [smiling]: We were going to go to Atlantic City and sit at a blackjack table at eleven fifty-nine, and we'd be playing twenty-one when I turned twenty-one. We were going to drink martinis, and win money, and go buy twenty-one things, and there was this thing including twenty-one guys that would be totally inappropriate now that I'm with you, but - it was a pretty big thing, and now we're not talking so it's not going to happen. I'm just a little bummed, that's all.

LOGAN [sits]: I know you miss your mom. The concept's a little hard for me to grasp, but I know you do.

RORY: Well, you never got to know her. She can be pretty cool.

LOGAN: Hey, I know, I'll take you to Atlantic City!

RORY: What?

LOGAN: We can still play twenty-one when you turn twenty-one! We can buy the twenty-one things. I'd still vote to put the kibosh on the twenty-one guys, but other than that I'm good to go.

RORY [sitting]: You're sweet, but it's okay.

LOGAN: Come on, we'll get a car. Twenty-one cars, if you like.

RORY: No. No, I appreciate the offer, a lot, but I'll just have a party and let this birthday pass.

LOGAN: You sure?

RORY: Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. And I'm hungry! You ready to go?

[She stands up, picks up her purse and looks around.]

RORY: Where did I put my keys?

LOGAN: Oh, I think I saw them on the couch.

RORY: Here we go again.

[She sits back down and they settle in.]

GILMORE HOUSE - DINING ROOM

[Rory is sampling cake as Emily looks at invitations.]

EMILY: You know, when I was turning twenty-one I somehow got it into my head that I simply had to have my invitations trimmed with real pearls. I could not be convinced that it was at all tacky or impractical. I was right, and that was the way it had to be. [Rory is distracted, not really paying attention.] My mother was beside herself, I never heard so much sighing in my whole life. But in the end, she found me invitations lined with real pearls, and I felt like the most important girl in the world. So, come on, tell me, which ones are your pearl-trimmed invitations?

[She holds up two invitations. Rory stares at her cake.]

EMILY: Rory!

RORY: Hm?

EMILY: You're supposed to try them all!

RORY: What?

EMILY: The cake! Alfonso made us those samples, the least we can do is try them all!

RORY: Oh, okay. Sure.

[She takes a bite of a different cake.]

EMILY: Well, I like the lace. Do you like the lace?

RORY [glances at it]: Sure.

EMILY: All right. Lace it is. Now, the food. I think we should go buffet. Much more youthful. And what do you think of sushi? Sushi feels young, doesn't it?

RORY: I certainly hope so. You don't want any old sushi hanging around.

EMILY: Now, we'll have a bar, heaters on the patio to stem the crowd, oh! Do you want a special tray-passed drink, like a sidecar maybe? Or gin fizz - I used to love a nice gin fizz. [Rory doesn't answer.] Am I boring you?

RORY [looks up again]: No, the lace is fine.

EMILY: Rory, where is your head today?

RORY: I don't know. I'm sorry.

EMILY: There are a million other little details I need to go over here! Would you like me to just do it myself?

RORY: Um, sure. You've got great taste, I trust you completely.

EMILY: All right. Then the only thing I need from you is a little guidance on the guest list. Now, I have the information from the DAR ladies, of course, and Logan - I have Logan's information. I believe I have the address of your Asian friend -

RORY [grimaces]: - Lane.

EMILY: She hasn't moved?

RORY: Not that I know of.

EMILY: All right.

RORY: She'll want to bring her boyfriend.

EMILY: Her boyfriend! How wonderful. Rory's Asian friend -

RORY: Lane!

EMILY: - has a boyfriend. All right. Now, what about Paris? Are you two friends? I never really could tell.

RORY: Paris should be on the list.

EMILY: Then Paris is on the list.

RORY: She'll want to bring her boyfriend, too.

EMILY: My goodness, I guess there's something in the air. All right, I have the Cheevers, your cousins from Bridgeport. Now - [she glances up] - do you want me to put your mother on this list?

RORY: Mom?

EMILY: It's completely up to you, I just thought I should ask.

RORY: Yes. Put Mom on the list.

EMILY: She's on the list.

RORY: And the chocolate praline crunch is the cake.

EMILY: A chocolate praline crunch cake. [She looks up with a dreamy look in her eye.] A chocolate praline crunch cake completely covered with pearls. Ah, to be twenty-one again.

[Rory nods uncomfortably.]

LORELAI'S HOUSE

[Lorelai pulls up the driveway in her Jeep. She walks over to where Babette and Morey are setting up their gallows in the yard.]

LORELAI: Wow! Looks great, guys!

BABETTE [laughs]: Yeah, we made it bigger this year! And we added a great new light effect to help Morey's face look more distorted when he drops, because, you know, when you really get hanged, your eyeballs sometimes explode and your tongue splits down the middle, it's disgusting! Want to see?

LORELAI: Uh -

BABETTE: Morey, shake a leg!

MOREY: Okay. [He stands up on the gallows and puts the noose around his neck.] All set!

BABETTE: Okay! Bombs away!

[Morey drops down so that his feet are no longer visible. Lorelai gasps.]

BABETTE: Now, remember, you've got to twitch around a lot, make the kids think you're dying real slow and painful!

MOREY: Okay.

BABETTE: Now, obviously there'll be some blood shooting out and some screams, but you get the picture.

LORELAI: Uh, I do.

MOREY [gestures to the rope]: Babette, uh, tight, babe.

LORELAI: Do you need help, Babette?

BABETTE: Oh, no, as soon as he passes out his muscles relax and I can slide him right out. We'll be good.

LORELAI [concerned]: Okay. See you guys later.

[She walks into the house.]

LORELAI'S HOUSE

[She walks in and looks around.]

LORELAI: Luke, are you here?

LUKE [OS]: Kitchen!

LORELAI [walks into the kitchen]: Where's Paul Anka? He didn't meet me at the door.

LUKE: Peas scare him.

LORELAI: Really? [They kiss.] Huh. Peas. Cooked or raw?

LUKE: Doesn't seem pleased with either form.

LORELAI: Okay. Peas are out. [She adds it to a list on the fridge.] What smells so good?

LUKE: Fried chicken.

LORELAI [sing-song-y]: Luke, will you marry me?

LUKE: Set the table?

LORELAI: Okay. First, I have some very exciting news to tell you.

LUKE: Shoot.

LORELAI: This year I have decided to do a whole new thing for Halloween!

LUKE: You're not going to hang the caramel apples again?

LORELAI: Caramel apples aren't scary.

LUKE: Well, what's scary is you opening your house up to a mob of insane sugar-laced kids wearing masks that conveniently hide any identifying features.

LORELAI: I've decided to do something totally different and I'm going to need your help.

LUKE: Sure.

LORELAI: Okay. I want to do a skit.

LUKE: Skit?

LORELAI: Yes! I want to be a mad scientist, I'm going to come out in a blood-stained white lab coat and freaky makeup and a big giant Don King kind of hairdo, and I am going to turn the whole front yard into my laboratory!

LUKE: Wow.

LORELAI: Yes. I'm going to have a huge electric chair, an operating table and test tubes and wires -

LUKE: Sounds elaborate.

LORELAI: You haven't heard the half of it. Okay, and so I come out and do mad scientist banter, like, 'Hey, who here's from Bellevue?' and 'Girl, Interrupted, now that's my idea of a feel-good movie!' Eh, I'll work on it. But anyway, after that, I'm going to drag you out!

LUKE: What?

LORELAI: You're strapped in an electric chair! And I'm going to throw the switch and I'm going to totally electrocute you! And you're flailing around, and we'll rig something where it's smoke and sparks shoot out of your nose, and once you're dead, I'll throw you onto the operating table and I'll cut you open and I'll pull linked sausages out of you and I throw them into the crowd.

LUKE: That's it?

LORELAI: Well, I mean, we can take a bow or something, but yeah, that's it.

LUKE: Okay. Uh, just a couple of questions, here. Uh, once you've electrocuted me and I'm dead, uh, how exactly do I get to the operating table?

LORELAI: Huh. Good question. Maybe I can position the operating table, like, right near the electric chair so I can just flop you over onto it after you die.

LUKE: Okay, let's say we work that out, now I'm on the table, uh, you're going to cut me open with what?

LORELAI: A big rusty saw.

LUKE: And then you're going to pull linked sausages out of me.

LORELAI: Real slow and creepy-like.

LUKE: Okay, great. Last question. Uh, what are the odds of you getting me to do a skit where you electrocute me, cut me open and pull linked sausages out of me? 'Cause I'm thinking they're right up there with Pia Zadora making a big comeback.

LORELAI: Oh, come on, this will be fun!

LUKE: No way, not happening.

LORELAI: But this is our first Halloween together as a full-blown, committed, soon-to-be-married couple! We need to start our own traditions.

LUKE: Tell you, what, I'll build you the chair, I'll help you with the test tubes, then I'm done.

LORELAI: But you would be so scary with smoke coming out of your nose! I really want to see that!

LUKE: Well, we're going to be together for the rest of our lives, so, odds are, you will.

LORELAI: Luke -

LUKE: Chicken's burning, I got to concentrate. Why don't you go find your psychotic dog and I'll set the table?

LORELAI: Okay. But this discussion is not over. [She steps over to the fridge and takes out some broccoli. She walks into the living room.] Here, Paul Anka, mommy's got your broccoli!

ELDER GILMORE HOUSE - OUTSIDE

[Rory and Logan pull up in Logan's Porsche. He parks.]

LOGAN: Out.

RORY: Oh, come on.

LOGAN: Beat it!

RORY: I can't believe you're not going to come in.

LOGAN: I told you, I'm meeting my father at seven-thirty in the morning in New York.

RORY [pauses, then smiles]: I loved the dinner tonight.

LOGAN: I'm glad.

RORY: I've never had Sri Lankan food before.

LOGAN: I thought you'd like it.

RORY: And I appreciate you lying to me and answering 'chicken' every time I asked you what I was eating.

LOGAN: Well, fifteen courses, one of them was bound to be chicken.

RORY: And that dessert!

LOGAN: Do you really think that if you keep talking long enough that I'll forget that I can't come in?

RORY: Well, I've seen my mom do it before, I thought maybe it was a family trait.

[They kiss.]

RORY: Just for an hour.

LOGAN: No.

[She kisses him again.]

RORY: Half an hour?

LOGAN: No.

RORY: Fifteen minutes.

LOGAN: No.

RORY [rolls her eyes]: Okay, an hour.

LOGAN [smiling]: You're getting better at this.

[He kisses her again. Richard knocks on the driver's side window; they jump.]

RORY: Ow. You bit my lip.

[Logan rolls down the window.]

RICHARD [chuckles]: I didn't mean to startle you two. I heard a noise out here and just came to check it out. Is everything all right?

LOGAN: Everything's fine, Richard. I was just dropping Rory off.

RORY [still holding her lip]: Hi, Grandpa.

RICHARD: Hello, Rory. Well, I'll just say goodnight then.

RORY: Good night, Grandpa.

LOGAN: Good night, Richard.

RICHARD: Hm. [He leaves.]

ELDER GILMORE HOUSE - INSIDE

[Emily reads a magazine. Richard enters.]

EMILY: Was the Mortigans' Dalmatian trying to mate with our lion statues again?

RICHARD: No, it was not the Mortigans' Dalmatian, it was Rory and Logan.

EMILY: How natural selection hasn't wiped out dogs like that I'll never know. Rory and Logan?

RICHARD: It was Rory and Logan. They just came home. Logan was dropping Rory off.

EMILY: Well, that's nice. Oh, look at this bedroom set! Richard, you would love these pillows.

RICHARD: It seems I interrupted their goodbyes.

EMILY: Oh, Richard, now they're going to think we were spying on them. This settee is lovely also.

RICHARD: They were engaged in a round of serious necking when I found them.

EMILY [looks up]: What do you mean?

RICHARD: You know exactly what I mean.

EMILY: You know, Richard, Rory's growing up.

RICHARD: Mm-hm.

EMILY: She's turning twenty-one next week.

RICHARD: Oh. Is that what the flotilla of party planners outside our door was about?

EMILY: Logan is certainly a very experienced young man.

RICHARD: Man of the world, Emily, man of the world.

EMILY: You know, Richard, it might be that time.

RICHARD: What time?

EMILY: She might be getting ready to have relations with that boy.

RICHARD: Oh, Emily, please. Have you seen the size of that sports car of his? There's no room to cross your legs, much less anything else.

EMILY: The car is not the only place they're getting affectionate, Richard. I walked in on them the other day in the pool house. They were very cozy on the couch, and they certainly weren't looking for her keys.

RICHARD: Do you really think?

EMILY: I really think.

RICHARD: Well, we have to do something. If she's getting ready to take that step, we have to do something.

EMILY: I couldn't agree more.

RICHARD [nods]: Tomorrow.

EMILY [nods]: Tomorrow. [She turns the page.] I am in love with this bedroom set.

DRAGONFLY INN - KITCHEN

[Sookie has laid out a variety of sausages.]

SOOKIE: Okay. So, what kind of linked sausage would you like to pull out of Luke?

LORELAI: I'm not sure. Nothing too wimpy. Luke's a big guy, so he needs a big-guy sausage.

SOOKIE: Don't we all.

LORELAI: Don't make my man's sausage dirty.

SOOKIE: Well, we could go kielbasa. I mean, that's a big-guy sausage.

LORELAI: I guess. Technically, Luke hasn't agreed to let me pull anything out of him.

SOOKIE: Small detail.

LORELAI: Miniscule roadblock.

SOOKIE: Well, personally, I love the Louisiana sweet sausage, 'cause it has the nicest flavor. A little bite, but not too overwhelming.

LORELAI: But I'm not going to eat the sausage, I'm going to pull it out of Luke.

[A guy tries not to laugh as he hands Lorelai some envelopes.]

ROB: Mail just came.

LORELAI: Oh, thanks Rob.

SOOKIE: Well, if you're just going by look, I'd go Cajun, because it's red.

[Lorelai opens a small envelope. She presses a hand to her cheek.]

SOOKIE: What's the matter?

LORELAI: Nothing.

SOOKIE: It's not nothing.

LORELAI: Invitation to Rory Gilmore's twenty-first birthday party.

SOOKIE: Wow, look at all that lace. Man, that's a pretty invitation.

LORELAI: Sure is.

SOOKIE: Are you going to go?

LORELAI: This isn't from Rory, this is from my dad, via my mom.

SOOKIE: It is?

LORELAI: Oh, yes. It's just my dad trying to manipulate me and get me involved in a plan to manipulate Rory.

SOOKIE: But you had a plan.

LORELAI: I know.

SOOKIE: Boy, they are determined.

LORELAI: Determined, demented... de-lovely.

SOOKIE: I can't believe Rory's turning twenty-one. It seems like just yesterday she was crying because you told her Charlotte Bronte couldn't come to her sleepover, because she's dead.

LORELAI: I'm going to go check the reservation book. [She clears her throat.]

SOOKIE: Too much Rory talk?

LORELAI: Oh, just a tad. It's making me bummed, so.

SOOKIE: Oh, we could go back to our sausage talk. [She waves the Cajun sausages around. Lorelai smiles.]

LORELAI: Maybe later.

ELDER GILMORE HOUSE

[Emily is pouring drinks at the bar. Rory enters through the side door, dressed nicely.]

RORY: Oh my God, it smells good in here.

EMILY: Well, I see someone got our dinner invitation.

RORY: Yes, I did, and thank you. It's been weeks since I've had anything that hasn't been super-sized for dinner.

EMILY: Well, you've been so busy lately, I had to resort to pot roast and mashed potatoes to get you here.

RORY: Pot roast and mashed potatoes?

EMILY: With baby carrots, Parker House rolls and ice cream sundaes for dessert.

RORY: Wow. Am I dying?

EMILY [smiles]: Would you grab that bottle of wine?

RORY: Sure.

[She takes it and suspiciously follows Emily into the dining room. Richard and another man are already seated.]

RICHARD: Rory, how lovely that you could join us. Do you know the Reverend Boatwright?

RORY: Um, no.

EMILY: Oh, I can't believe that! Reverend Boatwright has been our minister for years. By now he's more a friend than a minister. [She hands him a drink and sits down.]

RORY: Well, it's nice to meet you, Reverend Boatwright.

REVEREND: Well, it's nice to meet you, too, Rory. I hear pot roast is your favorite, too.

RORY: Yes it is.

EMILY: Rory, sit, sit. It's amazing. All the wonderful foods in this world, the greatest chefs with the most exotic ingredients, and yet this girl still wants pot roast. Roll, Reverend?

REVEREND: Well, thank you, don't mind if I do.

EMILY: Hm. I wonder where the salad is. Will you excuse me? I'll be right back. [She gets up and goes into the kitchen.]

RICHARD: You know, Emily ordered some of that wonderful Irish butter. You haven't tasted rolls until you've had them with Irish butter. I'll be right back. [He also gets up and leaves Rory and the Reverend alone.]

RORY: And then there were two.

REVEREND: Your grandparents have told me a lot about you, Rory.

RORY: Oh, yeah?

REVEREND: They're very proud of you, you know.

RORY: Well, then, it's a mutual admiration society.

REVEREND: You have a birthday coming up next week?

RORY: Twenty-first.

REVEREND: Must be wonderful being a young woman, just turning twenty-one. The world is out there just waiting to be conquered.

RORY: I guess so.

REVEREND: I hear you have a boyfriend.

RORY: Yes.

REVEREND: Ah, young love. It can be so exhilarating, so intense. All those feelings rushing around inside of you. I remember being young and having all those crazy feelings.

RORY [frowning]: Oh, yeah?

REVEREND: Oh, yes. You know, Rory, being a young lady comes with many gifts. Your virtue, for example, is a gift. A precious gift. Possibly the most precious gift you possess.

RORY [glances at the door]: Uh-huh.

REVEREND: You want to give this gift very carefully. This is a gift you can give to only one man. Once you give it, it's gone. You can't re-gift it. If you give it away too soon, to the wrong man, then when the right one does come along, you have no gift to give. You'll have to buy him a sweater. Do you understand what I'm saying?

RORY: No.

REVEREND: Think long and hard about when and to whom you want to give the ultimate gift you have to give away.

RORY [getting it]: Oh.

REVEREND: Yes.

RORY: Oh, dear.

REVEREND: Oh, dear, indeed.

RORY: Um, well, listen, Reverend. I really appreciate you taking the time out of what I assume is a busy day to come here and talk to me about all of this, but, um, I'm afraid the, uh, the ultimate gift ship has sailed.

REVEREND: What?

RORY: A while ago. It's probably in Fiji by now.

REVEREND: Oh.

RORY: Yeah. [She crosses her arms and leans back.]

REVEREND: Well.

RORY: So, have you seen the Forty-Year-Old Virgin? 'Cause you might like it.

ELDER GILMORE HOUSE - OUTSIDE - NEXT DAY

[Rory walks through the yard wearing her zoo uniform. She unlocks the door of the pool house. She can only open it a few inches. She shoves it further and peeks her head in, seeing that it is completely full of catering supplies and rentals. She gasps and shuts the door.]

ELDER GILMORE HOUSE - INSIDE

[Emily is talking to a party planner.]

EMILY: Well, it can't go next to the sushi, so I guess the cake will have to go in there. Maybe in the corner?

PLANNER: Sounds good.

RORY [walking in, pouting]: Grandma.

EMILY: Oh, Rory, good. Do you think we should have a carving station in case some people find sushi unappealing, or will the pasta hors d'oeuvres be enough?

RORY: Either way.

EMILY: 'Either way' is not an opinion, Rory. Just for future reference. [Calls out.] Let's have a carving station, just beef, no turkey.

RORY: What happened to the pool house?

EMILY: What do you mean?

RORY: It's full of stuff!

EMILY: Oh, yes, the rentals! I had absolutely nowhere to put them. They said it might rain tonight, and I couldn't leave them outside so I just put them in the pool house.

RORY: But I live in the pool house. What am I supposed to do?

EMILY: Oh, I packed up your things and put them in your old room upstairs.

RORY: Upstairs?

EMILY: Uh-huh. The room right next to ours. We can knock secret-code messages to each other at night like we're in camp. [She glances into the living room.] No, I didn't tell you to put that there! You're fired!

RORY: Grandma, has Mom RSVP'd?

EMILY: I don't know, Rory, check the list. [To the servant] Yes, out now, please! Thank you!

RORY: The list says no.

EMILY: Then I guess the answer's no.

RORY: Well, that's just wrong! When an invitation says RSVP, you RSVP. That's what you do. It's not rocket science.

EMILY: Maybe she's still coming.

RORY: But how do we know? If she doesn't call, how will we know whether or not to make an extra chocolate box? Huh? If she doesn't call, she won't have a chocolate box.

EMILY: We can make an extra chocolate box, Rory.

RORY: No! Why should we make an extra chocolate box? I mean, we're paying for these things. Chocolate boxes do not just grow on trees. They are made. They are made by these hardworking people right here. And it is not right making these people spend hours making extra chocolate boxes because people are too lazy to make a stupid phone call! [She storms off.]

EMILY [stunned]: Rory!

LUKE'S DINER

[Lorelai is spraying whipped cream on her pancakes.]

LUKE: You're going to be sick.

LORELAI: No.

LUKE: It's already loaded with chocolate chips. That's candy. And you're adding whipped cream. That's more candy.

LORELAI: Got any jelly beans?

LUKE: I'm going to be sick.

[The phone rings. Luke grabs it.]

LORELAI: Oh, and a cherry.

LUKE: Luke's!

RORY [snappy]: Luke! Is my mother there?

LUKE: Rory?

LORELAI: Rory?

RORY: Yes, it's Rory. Is my mother there?

LORELAI: That's Rory?

LUKE: I'll give her to you.

LORELAI: To me? That's Rory for me?

RORY: No. I just want to know if she's coming to my birthday party.

LUKE: She wants to know if you're coming to her birthday party.

LORELAI: What?

RORY: We're making the chocolate boxes right now, and I need to know if she's coming so I know whether or not to make her one!

LUKE: They're making the chocolate boxes right now, and she needs to know if you're coming so they can make you one.

LORELAI: I didn't know I was invited!

RORY: I sent her an invitation! Where the hell'd she think it came from, the invitation fairy?

LUKE: She said she sent you an invitation.

LORELAI: I didn't know it was from her. [Yelling at the phone]: I didn't know it was from you!

RORY: Well, it was! Is she coming or not?

LUKE: Are you coming or not?

LORELAI: Yes! I'm coming! I want a chocolate box!

LUKE: She'll be there.

RORY: Fine! Bye.

[She hangs up.]

LORELAI [stunned]: Rory called.

LUKE: I know! She called and yelled at me.

LORELAI: No, she called and yelled at me!

LUKE: Yeah, but I'm the one who had to hear it, and she was loud! And she said - 'hell'. I never heard her say 'hell'. I didn't even know she knew how to say 'hell'. [Flustered.] She was mad and she yelled and she said 'hell'.

LORELAI [smiling]: Yeah, but she called.

ELDER GILMORE HOUSE - RORY'S BEDROOM

[The clock reads 4:03. Rory wakes up and looks at it. She rolls onto her back and stares at the ceiling.]

LORELAI'S HOUSE

[Lorelai is also staring at the ceiling. She glances over at her alarm clock and watches it switch to 4:04. She looks back at the ceiling.]

ELDER GILMORE HOUSE - DINING ROOM

[Emily walks through. She touches a caterer's arm to get her attention. A doorbell rings.]

EMILY: Keep those fans going. I don't want the whole house to smell of raw fish. Disgusting food. [She reaches the front door to greet guests.] Shelby, Martin, how wonderful that you could come!

SHELBY: We're a bit early, I'm afraid.

EMILY: Nonsense. Have a Rory, we'll chat later. [She walks away, muttering.] Tacky, horrid people. Why not just show up the night before with a sleeping bag. [The doorbell rings again. Emily speaks to the maid answering the door.] Mai-Mai, you've got to get it down to a one-bell answer. Bell rings once, door opens. Please help me on this. Mr. Gilmore is not here yet and therefore I have no one to help me with the guests or the party. So just make sure you get the door after one bell. [The bell rings again.] That's two bells. [Again.] That's three bells!

[She opens the door. Emily greets the guests.]

EMILY: Well, hello, Glory, come in, come in! [She sees Rory coming down the stairs.] Rory! You look wonderful! That dress is to die for.

RORY: Well, it's the one you laid out on the bed, so I assumed I was supposed to put it on.

EMILY: Well, it's perfect! So, how does it look?

RORY: Fine.

EMILY: I'll never forgive myself for being talked into votives, but that's what you get for taking calls at cocktail hour. Have you tried your drink?

RORY: My what?

EMILY [snaps at a waiter, who brings over a tray of pink martinis]: Your signature drink, I had the bartender concoct it for you. It's called a Rory. It's got champagne, vodka, pineapple juice and grenadine. Have one, you're old enough now.

RORY: Maybe later. Empty stomach.

EMILY: Well, there's plenty to eat, so that can be remedied.

RORY: Where's Grandpa?

[Logan enters and walks toward them.]

EMILY: He'll be here soon.

LOGAN: Well, there they are, the two most lovely ladies in the room.

EMILY [glares]: Hello, Logan. [To Rory] I have to check on your cake. [She leaves.]

LOGAN: Huh. Is it me, or could the penguins march through here?

RORY: She's probably mad because she found out we're having sex.

LOGAN: She what?

RORY [shrugs]: She found out we're having sex.

LOGAN: How the hell'd she find that out?

RORY [sweetly]: I told her minister.

LOGAN: But - but, why would you do that?

RORY: Because he was going on and on about my virtue being a gift, and now you have it, so I'm going to have to buy the next guy a sweater! I just wanted him to stop.

LOGAN: And all this without a drink in my hand.

RORY: Come on, let's get you a Rory.

LOGAN: Ah. Dealing with this family is stressful.

RORY: Oh, tell me about it. And once you've had that drink, I can tell you how I've been moved out of the pool house and into a room right next to my grandparents. So from now on, we'll have to have sex in our invisible suits. [Logan's head falls.] Two Rorys, please.

LOGAN: Does your grandfather know also?

RORY: Oh, yeah.

LOGAN [to the bartender]: Make it four.

LANE [from the door]: Rory!

RORY: You came!

LANE [come in and gives her a hug]: Of course I came! I wouldn't miss your twenty-first birthday!

RORY: Oh! I'm glad. Hey, Zach. Thanks for coming.

ZACH: Sure. No problem. There's food, right?

RORY: Oh, plenty of food. Lane, I want you to meet Logan. Logan, this is my best friend Lane.

LOGAN: Hey. Nice to finally meet you.

LANE: Nice to finally meet you, too! [She mouths to Rory 'He's hot'. Rory nods.] And this is my boyfriend Zach.

LOGAN: How you doing?

ZACH [looks at Logan's outstretched hand]: What? Oh! [They shake hands.] I'm hanging in there.

LOGAN: You guys want a drink?

ZACH: Well, I'm not sharing, so make it two drinks.

LANE: Wow, this house is amazing. I've never been here before.

RORY: I'll give you a tour.

BARTENDER: Two Rorys. Extra cherries for the lady.

LANE: Oh my God, you have your own drink!

RORY: Wait till you see the bathroom. The guest soap has my face on it.

[They leave the bar. Logan and Zach follow.]

ZACH: So, you're like, rich, huh?

LOGAN: Uh... [He takes a drink.]

OUTSIDE

[Lorelai and Luke approach the door.]

LUKE: That's got to be my least favorite door in the world to knock on.

LORELAI: What about death's door?

LUKE: The reception on the other side might be warmer.

[He raises his arm to knock. The door is opened by another guest.]

LORELAI: Least you didn't have to knock.

LUKE: Ready?

LORELAI: I was born ready.

[They go in.]

LUKE: Nice low-key affair.

LORELAI: Okay. We're in and the gift's on the gift pile, and, um - [She takes two Rorys from a passing tray] Oh, yes, oh, cheers. [She hands one to Luke.] Okay. There. Checking things off the list. We should probably move deeper into the house now.

LUKE [staring at his drink]: What is this?

LORELAI: Do you see Rory?

LUKE [hasn't looked up from his drink]: Not yet.

LORELAI: Boy. Big turnout.

LUKE: Yeah, maybe if we're lucky and we keep moving around we can avoid -

EMILY: Lorelai! You came!

[Luke and Lorelai turn around.]

EMILY: You're here! There's a chocolate box for you in the hallway.

LORELAI: Thank you, mom.

EMILY: Hello, Luke. I didn't know you were coming. I don't have a chocolate box for you. You'll have to share with Lorelai.

LORELAI: Fat chance. [She looks at Luke.] Mom has really good chocolate.

EMILY: I see you have a Rory.

LORELAI: Excuse me?

EMILY: Your drink. It's called a Rory. [Lorelai takes a sip.] What's the matter, Luke, you don't like your Rory?

LUKE: Oh, no, it's great. A little pink. You know.

EMILY: Well, Rory's a girl. Girls like pink.

LUKE: I know. I was just saying -

EMILY: No one's asking you to wear it, it's not a skirt.

LUKE: I know, I just -

LORELAI: Drink the drink. [He does.]

EMILY: Well, nice of you two to come. I have some things to check up on. We'll catch up later. Excuse me.

[She leaves. Luke breathes out.]

LUKE: It tasted pink.

LORELAI: She's gone.

LUKE: I mean, like really tasted really pink, like pink pink. Ugh.

LORELAI: Come on, let's get something to eat.

LUKE: God, that's terrible. It's like drinking a My Little Pony.

[They walk into the living room.]

[Elsewhere, Rory enters the house from the patio, greeting someone.]

RORY: How are you doing?

[She sees Paris and Doyle.]

RORY: Hey! Glad you guys came!

PARIS: We had to stop and eat first in case the food here sucked.

DOYLE: Happy birthday, Rory.

PARIS: Yeah. Listen, we have really big news.

RORY: Thanks, Doyle. What, Paris?

PARIS [to Doyle]: You tell her.

DOYLE: Okay.

PARIS: But do it fast and don't embellish.

DOYLE: As you know, I am a senior and my reign as editor of the Yale Daily News is officially up at the end of the year, and I'm stepping down. I'm going back to writing full-time.

RORY: Wow.

DOYLE: I'm going to be writing a column in the Daily News called "The world according to Doyle."

RORY: I can't imagine the Daily News without you as editor.

PARIS: Yeah. It's going to be weird. Ask who the new editor is.

RORY: Oh, who's the new editor going to be?

PARIS [points at herself]: Me!

RORY [surprised]: You?

PARIS: That's right. Paris Gellar is the new editor of the Yale Daily News. I was worried about the intimidation factor, 'cause people tend to be afraid of me, but I campaigned hard and really worked the my-parents-left-me-broke angle, got a little sympathy vote, and the next thing I know, I am the man.

DOYLE: My woman is the man.

[Rory nods a little sadly.]

PARIS: I mean, it's so incredible. Last year I was sleeping with the editor -

DOYLE: And this year, I am! [He chuckles.]

PARIS: I can't wait. The changes I am going to make!

[Rory notices Luke and Lorelai entering.]

DOYLE: Hold on to your hats, people.

PARIS: I am going to crack that whip, raise that bar. Last person that ran the shop was too busy ironing his petticoats to put out a decent paper.

DOYLE: That's about to change.

PARIS: You know it is.

[Lorelai and Luke approach them.]

LORELAI: Hey everyone, hey Paris.

PARIS: Hey Lorelai. You remember my boyfriend Doyle.

LORELAI: Good to see you, this is Luke.

PARIS: Nice to meet you, Luke.

LUKE: We actually met about two or three weeks ago -

PARIS: This is my boyfriend Doyle.

DOYLE: It's nice to meet you.

LUKE: Yeah, it's nice to meet you, too.

LORELAI [smiling at Rory]: Hey, birthday girl!

RORY [smiling back]: Hey.

PARIS: We were just talking about the big news.

LORELAI: What's the big news?

PARIS: I'm the new editor of the Yale Daily News.

LORELAI [mouth wide open, glances at Rory to see how she's feeling]: Wow. Congratulations, Paris.

PARIS: Yeah. Last year I was sleeping with the editor -

DOYLE: And this year, I am! [He laughs again.]

[Lorelai looks sympathetically at Rory. Rory rolls her eyes.]

RORY: Um, I have to go say hello to some people. So, I'll catch up with you guys later. Have some food, there's tons of food.

[She leaves. Lorelai watches her.]

PARIS: That doesn't mean I'm not going to crack the whip on you, too, Doyle. [He laughs.]

LATER - OUTSIDE

[Lorelai and Luke are standing at a table.]

LORELAI: You know, they shouldn't be allowed to put just anything into a martini glass. Martinis should go into a martini glass. Gin martinis, vodka martinis, period. That's it.

LUKE : Do you know what this is?

LORELAI: It's raw fish. Dip it in Soya sauce and swallow it real quick. We were going to drink martinis. The Rat Pack drank martinis. James Bond drank martinis. You know, it's the sweet drinks that really kill you. It's the sugar that gives you the hangover and makes you throw up.

LUKE: Yeah, 'cause no one's ever thrown up from a martini before.

LORELAI: Have you seen my father?

LUKE [mouth full]: Nope.

LORELAI: I wonder where he's hiding.

LUKE [swallowing]: Okay. I got the red piece down.

LORELAI: Hello, page six, have I got a scoop for you!

[Two DAR ladies approach them.]

VIVIAN: Excuse me, Lorelai?

LORELAI: Yeah?

VIVIAN: Hi, I'm Vivian Lewis, and this is Catherine Thurston-Moore. We're friends of Rory's from the DAR.

LORELAI: Oh, friends of Rory's. Wow. I didn't realize she ran with the bad girls.

[They giggle.]

VIVIAN: We just wanted to tell you we love Rory.

CATHERINE: She introduced us to buffalo wings and jalapeno poppers and for that we will be eternally grateful.

LUKE: What's the DAR?

[They laugh. Lorelai smiles up at Luke.]

LUKE: I'm going to get a beer. Anyone want anything?

LORELAI: I'm good.

LUKE: Okay, I'll be back.

[He leaves, the DAR ladies still cackling. He walks past Paris and Doyle standing at a table with another couple.]

PARIS: Last year, I was sleeping with the editor -

DOYLE [after a pause]: Now I am.

PARIS [whispers]: Come in a little quicker next time.

INSIDE

[Rory is talking with some ladies. She sees Luke enter.]

RORY: Oh, excuse me. [She walks over to him.] Hey. Little tip, we have beer here.

LUKE: Ah, the magic words. I was just heading over to the bar.

RORY: Have you tried a Rory yet?

LUKE: Yes, I have. Not my kind of drink.

RORY: Yeah. Mine either.

LUKE: Lorelai'll be glad to hear it. [They smile.] So, you two haven't talked yet.

RORY: Nope. Not yet.

LUKE: Well, it was nice of you to invite her here. Means a lot.

RORY: I'm glad she came. I'm glad you both came.

LUKE: Oh! Here. [He feels around in his pockets and pulls out a jewelry box.] I've got something for you. Birthday present.

RORY: Really?

LUKE: Yeah, I brought it just in case your mother didn't bring one. But she did, it's the one on the top of your present mountain over there. But since I already had it in my pocket I just -

RORY [opens the box]: Luke.

LUKE: It was my mother's. Liz can't wear it 'cause her neck's too fat, but your neck looks, you know, not fat. [Rory laughs.] It was sitting around in my drawer so I figured, hey, give it to Rory. You know you're lucky, 'cause Caesar's birthday's next month, and I know he like pearls, so.

RORY: Thank you. [She hugs him.]

LUKE: You're welcome.

[A woman approaches Rory.]

TWEENY: I saw a jewelry box and I couldn't help myself. What did you get? [Rory holds out the box.] Oh, it's fantastic!

RORY: It's from Luke, my stepfather-to-be.

[Luke looks touched.]

TWEENY: Well, you have exquisite taste, Luke. I'm Tweeny Halpurn. [They shake hands.]

RORY: Tweeny works with me at the DAR.

LUKE: What's the DAR?

[Tweeny laughs hysterically.]

LUKE: I'm killing with that line tonight.

OUTSIDE

[Emily approaches Lorelai's table.]

EMILY: Well, how's the party going so far?

LORELAI: Seems to be a big hit.

EMILY: Where is Luke? I hope he didn't get lost somewhere.

LORELAI: Oh, no. I'm sure he's just sizing up how much silver he can stuff into his pockets without it making too much of a bulge.

EMILY: I was not insinuating that he was a thief.

LORELAI: Ah.

EMILY: I was just making small, polite talk. That's what you do at parties. My commenting on his getting lost was in no way a swipe.

LORELAI: I'm sorry. I forgot. Luke went to get a beer. Take it. [She holds up her drink. Emily stares at her hand.] Come on, Mom, it's all about timing. You know that. What are you - [She realizes what Emily is looking at and fidgets with her ring.]

EMILY: Well, it seems congratulations are in order.

LORELAI: Well, that wasn't exactly congratulations, but sure. Close enough.

PARTY PLANNER: Excuse me, Mrs. Gilmore, but we really should cut the cake now.

EMILY: Have you seen Mr. Gilmore yet?

PARTY PLANNER: Uh, no I haven't.

EMILY: Of course not. He is going to sit all night in that office of his, moping and sulking, missing his granddaughter's birthday party and he's going to leave me out here all alone to host it! Fine. Come on, Claire.

[Emily walks inside, with Claire following. Lorelai goes in the other door.]

INSIDE - RICHARD'S STUDY

[Lorelai knocks on the door, then lets herself in. Richard is sitting alone, drinking scotch.]

LORELAI: Oh, Dad. You're missing a crazy party out there. You know someone forgot to cook the fish? Boy, is Mom going to be mad.

RICHARD: Go away, Lorelai.

LORELAI: What's wrong, Dad?

RICHARD: You know what's wrong. Rory's wrong. It's all wrong. [Lorelai sits down.] She's not going back to Yale. It's my fault.

LORELAI: Rory made a choice, Dad.

RICHARD: I could have stopped her, and I didn't. I cleared the path for her to walk away from her goal, her life.

LORELAI: Dad -

RICHARD: She's having sex, Lorelai. She's having sex under my roof. I paid forty-thousand dollars to redecorate her sex house. I bought her her sex mattress. Her sex box springs. I provided everything she needs to waste her life.

LORELAI: Dad, Rory having sex is not your fault. Really. She was having sex way before the big renovation.

RICHARD: I feel so much better now.

LORELAI: I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to -

RICHARD: I made a terrible, terrible mistake.

LORELAI: No, Dad, listen!

[Emily enters.]

EMILY: Richard, you come out of here right now and make an appearance at this party!

RICHARD: I don't give a damn about the party, Emily!

EMILY: What is going on with you? You've been holed up in here for two days. Is it work?

LORELAI: It's Rory.

EMILY: What about Rory?

RICHARD: What do you mean, what about Rory? We've lost her.

EMILY: What are you talking about? I got her out of the pool house.

RICHARD: For a day, for two days. And then those rentals go back.

EMILY: Fine, then I'll have the place fumigated. That'll take a week. Then I'll have the place checked for mold, that'll be two weeks. Then I'll find rats. Then there'll be carbon monoxide leaks and plumbing issues and if I have to I'll tear the damn place down! In the meantime she's here where we can watch her!

RICHARD: That doesn't matter, Emily! We have lost her!

EMILY: No!

RICHARD: We failed.

EMILY: No! We have not failed! We have not failed until that girl comes home pregnant! Then we've failed!

LORELAI [throws up her hands]: And on that note.

[She gets up and leaves.]

EMILY: Richard, I don't understand what's happening. Everything's been fine except the sex issue.

RICHARD: Everything hasn't been fine! The minute we went against Lorelai we lost.

EMILY: You're acting like this is my fault. Going against Lorelai was your idea! I was perfectly ready to go ahead with the plan the three of us devised.

RICHARD: Running around with Logan. Joining the DAR. Planning parties.

EMILY: What's wrong with joining the DAR? We both agreed she needed a job.

RICHARD: Fundraisers and tea parties? It's frivolous! And meaningless! She has more to do, more to be! I don't want that life for her.

EMILY: You mean my life. You don't want her to be me.

RICHARD: Emily, no! That's not what I meant.

EMILY [turns to the door]: We're cutting the cake now. We can't wait anymore.

[She leaves. Richard takes a drink.]

DINING ROOM

[Lorelai and Rory catch each other's eye. Rory waves tentatively. Lorelai waves back. Lorelai takes a deep breath and walks over to her. They stand together awkwardly.]

LORELAI: So.

RORY: So.

LORELAI: Your drink is disgusting.

RORY: Tell me about it.

LORELAI: Nice party, though.

RORY: Yeah, it's very nice.

LORELAI: You look great.

RORY: You look skinny.

LORELAI: Oh, well. It's the construction diet.

RORY: Construction?

LORELAI: Yeah, we're making the bedroom bigger.

RORY: You and Luke?

LORELAI: No, me and John O’Hurley. Luke doesn't know yet, I hope he takes it okay.

RORY: You guys are going to live in our house?

LORELAI: Yeah.

RORY: Wow. That's nice.

LORELAI: So what's new with you?

RORY: Oh, well. Not much. I got my community service hours down from three hundred to a hundred and four, so.

LORELAI: Oh, God. Community should be well-served by now. They should build a statue of you when you're done.

RORY: Well, it's not just one community.

LORELAI: Right. That makes more sense, I guess. [Pause.] I got a dog.

RORY [concerned]: What?

LORELAI: Stop! He's fine.

RORY: He's alive?

LORELAI: Yes, he's alive. And I'm not discussing that hamster again.

RORY: But you asked Babette to double-check that you feed it in the morning?

LORELAI: That is so not necessary. And yes.

RORY: Wow. A dog. A lot has changed.

LORELAI: A lot, and then, not so much, also.

RORY: Did you get your chocolate box? They're by the door.

LORELAI: No, I didn't. I'll get one on the way out.

RORY: They're good. I ate two. [She looks sad.]

LORELAI: It's a really pretty party. I actually like all the votives and -

[Logan and Lane lead a group of people over to Rory. They sing 'Happy Birthday' and take her by the elbows over to the cake. Rory smiles back at Lorelai. The song ends and the crowd cheers and applauds. Lorelai stands back, near tears. Luke comes up beside her.]

LORELAI: Ready to go?

LUKE: Sure.

[He places his hand on her back as they walk to the door.]

LUKE'S TRUCK - ON THE WAY HOME

[Lorelai stares out the window.]

LUKE: Hey. You can pull linked sausages out of me if you want.

[She smiles.]

END