Répliques VO

Les Gilmore vous manquent ? Pas de problème, dans cette rubrique, vous trouverez toutes les répliques de la série en V.O  qui ont marqué les téléspectateurs... Et qui font de la série ce qu'elle est...

Episode 101

Lorelai: Please, Luke. Please, please, please.
Luke: How many cups have you had this morning?
Lorelai: None.
Luke: Plus…
Lorelai: Five, but yours is better.
Luke: You have a problem.
Lorelai: Yes, I do.
Luke fills her cup.
Luke: Junkie.
Lorelai: Angel. You’ve got wings, baby.

***

Lorelai: You’ll have to walk faster than that. You’re gonna have to turn into freakin’ Flo Jo to get away from me.

***

Rory: So, Grandpa, how’s the insurance biz going ?
Richard: Huh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.

Episode 102

Lorelai: Rory's not going to be a problem. She's totally low maintenance. You know, like a Honda!

***

Lorelai: Well, we like our internet slow, okay? We can turn it on walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there's no dancing, no walking, and we'd starve. It'd be all work and no play. Have seen The Shinning, Mom?

Episode 105

Rory: Lorelai, go to your room!
Lorelai: Wow, smart girls are mean.

***

Lorelai: Why should we date?
Max: Because we are attracted to each other.
Lorelai: I am attarcted to pie, but I don’t feel the need to date pie.

Episode 106

Luke: She’s not here yet.
Lorelai: Okay! Well, you’ll have to entertain me ‘til she gets here. Ok Burger Boy, DANCE!

 ***

Rory: So, is this party Grandma’s having gonna be a big deal?
Lorelai: Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbara Streisand will give her final concert… Again. Now, the Pope have previous plans, but he’s trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they’re bringing chips.

 ***

Lorelai: And that’s so hard to believe that exactly this time many moons ago, I was lying in exactly the same position…
Rory: Oh, boy. Here we go.
Lorelai: Only I had a huge fat stomach and big fat ankles and I was swearing like a sailor…
Rory: … On leave.
Lorelai: On leave, right! And there I was…
Rory: …In labor.
Lorelai: And while some have called it the most meaningful experience of your life, to me it was something more akin to doing the splits on a crate of dynamite.
Rory: I wonder if the Waltons ever did this.
Lorelai: And there I was screaming and swearing and being surrounded as I was by a hundred prominent doctors, I just assumed there was an actual use for the cup of ice chips they gave me.
Rory: There wasn’t.
Lorelai: But pelting the nurses sure was funny.

***

Lorelai: ok burgerboy dance!
Luke: will you marry me?
Lorelai: what?
Luke: just looking for something to shut you up!

 

Episode 108

Lorelai: Michel, it’s the first snowfall of the season. It’s very lucky! Make a wish.
Michel: Get away from me.
Lorelai: Oh, you’re not supposed to say it out loud.
Michel answers the phone.
Lorelai, dreamily to herself: The world changes when it snows. It’s quiet. Everything softens.
Michel: It’s your mother.
Lorelai: And then the rain comes.

 

Episode 109

Emily: What's wrong with the tomato?
Lorelai: It was fraternizing with the enemy

 

Episode 110

Luke: The truth hurts.
Lorelai: No, you know what hurts? Having a screwdriver jammed in the back of your head!

 

Episode 111

Rory: Buttercup is a special dog. She’s extremely skiddish and tends to react badly towards blonde haired females, brunette males, children of either sex, other animals, cabbage or anyone in uniform.Luke walks up to them.
Lorelai, to Luke: Hey we just found the doggy version of you.

Episode 114

Rory: Mother-daughter window washing. We should try that.
Lorelai: Yeah, right after mother-daughter shock treatments.

 

Episode 115

Lorelai: And to top off the whole fabulous fiasco, I stood up a friend of mine who was counting on me and... and he just stood there looking hurt with the paint and the chairs and it hurt me and it's not your fault but in this parade of stupid and dumb I am the one twirling the flaming baton.
Chistopher: Lor?
Lorelai: What?
Christopher: I want to marry you.
Lorelai: And the hits just keep on coming. 

 

Episode 117

Lorelai: Rory, my heart, today is Saturday, the day of rest!
Rory: Sunday’s the day of rest.
Lorelai: No, Saturday’s the day of pre-rest, see? Then by the time you get to Sunday, you’re rested enough… to enjoy you rest.
Rory: That made absolutely no sense.
Lorelai: That’s because it’s 6:00 in the morning!

 ***

Lorelai: That doesn’t make sense. This is Dean we’re talking about. He’s crazy about you. He calls like 25 times a day. Have you seen the covers of his notebook? It’s one step away from stalker material.

 

Episode 118

Emily: So you were on the phone…
Richard: Long distance.
Lorelai: God?
Richard: London.
Lorelai: God lives in London ?
Richard: My mother lives in London.
Lorelai: Your mother is God ?
Richard: Lorelai…
Lorelai: So God is a woman.
Richard: Lorelai…
Lorelai: And a relative! That’s so cool. I am gonna totally ask for favors.

 ***

Lorelai: Independence Inn!
Emily: I need the hat rack.
Lorelai, mysteriously: The fish flies at night!
Emily: What
Lorelai: I don’t know. Who is this ?

 

Episode 119

Lorelai: So what time does the judgmental express arrive?
Rory: Grandma gets here at noon.

 

Episode 121

Lorelai: That’s right. You’re fixing my porch rail… At six thirty in the morning!
Luke: It was the only time I could do it.
Lorelai: Why? Why?
Luke: It was broken. I noticed last time I was here. It could hurt somebody.
Lorelai: Luke, we sleep around here. Okay ? We like it. It makes us pretty and keeps us from killing our crazy friends.
Luke: You’re gonna wake the neighbors.
Lorelai: UGH! Could you pound one more thing while you’re out here? Your head! And a for-sale sign on the lawn because we’re moving. So that’s two thing. The sign and your head. And in that order ‘cause otherwise you’ll be too dizzy to do the sign thing.

 

Episode 204

SOOKIE: You were a good cake Clyde. I never should've named you.

*** 

RORY: You do realize that all of your college kid jargon comes from 'Happy Days' and the 'Valley Girls' song?

 

Episode 205

JESS: So do these open? [looking at windows]
RORY: Oh yeah, you just have to unlatch them and then push.
JESS: Great. Shall we?
RORY: Shall we what?
JESS: Bail.
RORY: No.
JESS: Why?
RORY: Because it's Tuesday night in Stars Hollow. There's nowhere to bail to. The 24-hour mini-mart just closed twenty minutes ago.

 ***

RORY: You bought a copy? I told you I'd lend you mine.
JESS: It is yours.
RORY: You stole my book.
JESS: Nope, borrowed it.
RORY: Okay, that's not called a trick, that's called a felony.
JESS: I just wanted to put some notes in the margins for you.
RORY: What? [looks through the book] You've read this before.
JESS: About forty times.
RORY: I thought you said you didn't read much.
JESS: Well, what is much? Goodnight Rory.
RORY: Goodnight Dodger.
JESS: Dodger?
RORY: Figure it out.
JESS: Oliver Twist.

 

Episode 206

Richard and Emily are Fighting

RORY: Wow, this is bad.
LORELAI: I know, I wish we had popcorn.
RORY: Mom.
LORELAI: Shh. Incoming.

 ***

LORELAI: So I have some shocking news. Rory's coming out.
CHRISTOPHER: Out of what?
LORELAI: Coming out. White dresses, gloves, curtsies.
CHRISTOPHER: Stop it.
LORELAI: I swear to God.
CHRISTOPHER: I can't believe you're letting her do it.

 ***

RORY: So did you know that you're considered a hot Dad?
LORELAI: Hah!
CHRISTOPHER: Really?
RORY: Libby said that it's too bad you're my real Dad because if you were my stepdad, I could steal you away from mom.

 

Episode 213

LORELAI: Luke, you gotta come out there with me. Patty gave my picture out to all these guys because she thinks I need a man.
LUKE: You do, one with a nice couch and a deep knowledge of Freud.
LORELAI: You have to come out and bid on my basket.
LUKE: Are you serious?
LORELAI: Yes.
LUKE: I have never in my life taken part in one of these crazy group flip outs. I'm not about to start now.
LORELAI: But - right now - out there – the -.
LUKE: Just buy your own basket.
LORELAI: I cannot buy my own basket.
LUKE: Why not?
LORELAI: Because that is pathetic.
LUKE: And chasing me around my diner begging me to buy your basket?
LORELAI: Also pathetic. But that is a pathetic I can live with, where that pathetic is a truly pathetic pathetic, and only you can save me from the double pathetic! Please!
LUKE: I can't believe I'm doing this.
LORELAI: Ha ha! Hurry up. Hurry up!

 

Episode 217

LORELAI: Well, you’re very graceful.
JESS: She pushed me.
RORY: Sue me.
JESS: I could’ve broken my neck.
RORY: As long as it’s not your arm. We need your arm.
JESS: Despot.

Episode 313

Lorelai: And the second thing is, you need to tell me why you’re sitting like that.
Sherry: Maureen told me that Howard Stern said that if you squat, it makes the baby come out faster.
Lorelai: Okay, as long as you have a sane reason from a reliable source.

Episode 316

Lorelai: (to the woman working coat check) Um, excuse me, hi. I am not seeing my coat here, and it was very cute and it was on sale, and I will fling myself off a building if I lose it.
Woman: We put some of the coat racks in the classroom over there, take a look. Otherwise the staircase to the roof is on your right.
Lorelai: Thank you. Took two hundred years, but somebody at Chilton finally cracked a joke.

Episode 401

Lorelai: This is a misogynistic truck.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: It’s anti-woman, it’s gender-selective, it’s “Oh, let’s drink a beer and watch the game and hike our shorts up.”

Episode 501

Lorelai: Hey, so where are you right now?
Luke: Uh, about 10 minutes out of “If I lived here I would shoot my brains out.”
Lorelai: Oh, well I hear its nice this time of year.

 

Episode 510

Rory: I have no words…
Logan: It was just a joke!
Rory: Oh, no, wait. I thought of some. Jerk! Ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat-boy, low-life, butt-face, miscreant!
Logan: 'Butt-faced miscreant'!
Rory: Why would you do something like that?
Logan: I'm sorry, 'butt-faced miscreant'?

Episode 513

[Lorelai has had to throw Emily an impromptu bachelorette party and invited all the women from Stars Hollow. Emily is now drunk]

Miss Patty: So, Emily, tell us about this party of yours tomorrow.
Emily: It's going to be fabulous. Isn't it, Lorelai?
Lorelai: Ab fab, sweetie darling.
Emily: Isn't she hilarious? I never have any idea what she's talking about, but she's so entertaining! Like a chimp. Isn't she like a chimp, Gypsy?
Gypsy: Please make your mother stop talking to me.
Lorelai: If only I had that power.

***

Lorelai: Why are you nervous?
Emily: I’m getting married!
Lorelai: For the second time. Mom, it’s a pretend wedding. J.Lo has them all the time!

 

Episode 622

LUKE: I don't like ultimatums!
LORELAI: I don't like Mondays, but unfortunately they come around eventually.

Episode 702 

LUKE: Look, you're the one who's still hung up here. I'm telling you, I'm over it. I guess it's just not as big a deal to me as it is to you.
LORELAI: Oh, it's not as big a deal
LUKE: Yeah, so we're not getting married. It's okay by me. I mean you're the one who proposed in the first place.

** *

RORY: You know what, mom? If you're heartbroken, rent "An Affair to Remember," have a good cry, and drown your sorrows in a pint of ice cream. You get a hideously unflattering breakup haircut. But you don't sleep with dad.